Wife: “This movie isn’t very good. Let’s watch something else.”
Me: “But if we stop now, we might miss (pauses for dramatic effect) the scene.”
Wait, what’s “the scene”? The scene is that magical segment sometimes found in 2.5-star movies that makes — or almost makes — sitting through the entire film worthwhile. Not every forgettable film has one. I’ve watched many mediocre movies over the years, but only a few have moments that soar above the rest of the film. It can be an action sequence. A piece of dialogue. A tracking shot. It’s something that when you watch it, you get a feeling of what the director was going for. It’s an exciting bit of creativity, something daring and original that (unfortunately) stands in stark contrast to the rest of the film.
OK, so what’s an example of a magical scene in an otherwise forgettable film? Two words: The Replacements. Stop, where are you going? I’m not crazy.
The decidedly average (but by no means terrible) sports comedy starred a post-Matrix, pre-Lake House Keanu Reeves as washed-up quarterback Shane Falco, who is recruited by old-school football coach Jimmy McGinty (Gene Hackman) to play for the fictional Washington Sentinels, who have lost their entire team to a players’ strike.
So, yeah, The Replacements is a sports movie, but of course nobody wants to watch a film that’s just about sports. To balance things out, the filmmakers added a romance between Falco and a cheerleader/bar owner named Annabelle, played by Brooke Langton.
Which brings us to the incredibly effective scene. We’re at a bar. Falco and Annabelle. They’ve been hate-flirting the entire movie. He wants to kiss her. She wants him to. Falco approaches as “Every Breath You Take” by The Police plays. So far, nothing unusual. Just a standard love scene we’ve all seen a thousand times. But then something magical happens, involving… John Madden?
Yeah, the voices of John Madden (RIP) and the late great Pat Summerall (guys you probably don’t associate with romance) begin to narrate Falco going in for a kiss as if they’re commenting on a football game.
Pat: “What do you do here, John?”
John: “You go for it, Pat. You have to.”
Pat: “But Falco’s been shut down by this defense all afternoon”
John: “Well, I tell you this. All it takes is one big play to get him back in the ball game.”
Falco goes in for the kiss.
Pat: “And here goes Falco.”
John: “Falco scores! Falco scores!”
It’s genius, and illustrates how sports and love are (at least in the movies) not so different.
I couldn’t tell you what happened in the rest of the movie. Did Keanu’s team win the championship? Probably. Did Gene Hackman give a motivational speech during halftime of the big game? I’m guessing so. But I don’t really remember and don’t really care. This one scene eclipsed the entire movie. That’s a compliment. Right?
mike krumboltz 